Bad Guys Always Win
by Aurora the Kyuubi Kid
Summary: Akatsuki realized that Naruto would win. So they came up with a new idea. But will this idea actually make them win, or burden them even more? NOT Yaoi! T for now, but might be M later.
1. A New Era

**You must think I'm insane for not uploading for more than three months and then coming out with another story. Well, I have nothing to say about that. Let's put that in the past, shall we? Oh, and chapter 2 of High School Life! will have a lemon in it. A big orgy. Okay, maybe not that big. Anyway, here is the new story I thought of. Oh, and when I first saved this, it had 69 words xD**

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><p>CHAPTER 1<p>

**"The Kyuubi will be the most difficult to capture. He's currently training with Jiraiya of the Densetsu no Sannin. It seems as if he's learned the Rasengan, and awakened the Rinnegan as well. He will be a challenge. So I am reasigning teams.**

**Team 1- Sasori and Itachi. I want the both of you to after the Ichibi. He is in Suna. Your other tailed beast will be the Hachibi. He is in Kumo.**

**Team 2- Kakuzu and Kisame. I want both of you to track down the Rokubi and Yonbi.**

**Team 3- Konan and Tobi. Secure Amegakure, and capture the Nibi, Sanbi, and Gobi.**

**Team 4- Hidan and Deidara. Capture the Kyuubi and Nanabi, and display your powers inside of Konoha to invoke fear into them. **

**Before you do your jobs, I suggest you train yourselves further. We will move in three years' time, do whatever you want until then." **Pain said as he disappeared.

"Oi, Deidara! Where are you?" Hidan asked. "I'm outside of Suna, hmm. Meet me there in about 2 days." Deidara responded before leaving.

"Itachi-sama, it was a pleasure working with you. Kakuzu, where can I find you?" Kisame asked. "I am in the forest surrounding Konohagakure. I know you are currently in Hi no Kuni as well, so I will meet you in about 4 hours. Meet me at my usual bounty collection office." Kakuzu and Kisame left.

"I will see you in Sunagakure, Sasori-san." Itachi said. Sasori nodded and spoke in his gruff voice, "I'll stick with Deidara until either one of you show up."

"Weeeeee! Tobi get's to hang with the nice lady! Tobi is nice, too! Tobi is a good boy! See you in Ame!" Tobi left as well. Konan sighed, facepalmed, and left.

Hidan woke up and stretched his limbs. "Believe it or not, Kakuzu, I'm gonna miss you." Kakuzu snorted and began walking towards the bonty office. "Good luck, Hidan." he said and disappeared. Hidan scratched the back of his head and walked in the other direction, towards Suna.

Kisame and Itachi both shook hands. "Itachi-sama, you were a great partner. Get your job done, and I'll buy you all the sake you could ever want." Itachi smirked a little and said, "Kisame, I had fun while working with you. I hope that when this is all over, we can still be friends." The sharkman nodded and shot off towards Kakuzu's chakra signature. Itachi ran full-speed towards Suna. He would get there in about 19 hours if he kept up this pace.

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><p>In Konoha<p>

Naruto was getting ready for his three-year training trip. Sasuke was his top priority. He would get his friend back. He ran towards the gate with his sensei, Jiraiya of the Sannin. "Sensei, I can do the Rasengan without Kage Bunshin now! I still need to use both hands though..." "Good job, Gaki, I think you can add an element to it by the time this training is done! I'm gonna make you strong kid." Naruto grinned as the two of them left the village.

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><p>Hidan and Deidara had just left Suna on Deidara's clay bird. "What do you wanna do first, hmm?" Deidara asked. "How about a little bonding by slaughtering a few villages? Isn't that a fucking awesome idea?" Hidan asked. "Good idea, hmm. I'll show them my art." Hidan smirked, he was gonna like Deidara.<p>

In a few hours, Hidan and Deidara had terrorized a small village in Nami no Kuni. Deidara destroyed a stone bridge with C2, and Hidan butchered the townsfolk. A family of three were fleeing to the docks. Not being one to let his pray escape him, he chased them towards the boats. Before he could kill them, though, team of ninja appeared in front of him. They looked like Genin of Kiri. "Stop this!" the leader yelled, getting into her taijutsu stance. "These people have done nothing to you!" "How dare you interrupt my kill?! I WILL SACRIFICE YOU TO JASHIN-SAMA!" Hidan threw his scythe at the girl, catching her in the arm. Then he pulled back and licked the metallic red liquid off of the blade. His body turned skeletal and he drew a equilateral circumscribed triangle made out of the blood of his other victims. The girl ran at him, but he stabbed himself in the leg with a wooden spear. The girl cried out in pain and fell on the ground crying.

Hidan laughed and stabbed himself multiple times until she died. The other two Genin were scared shitless. They both took of running towards the boats with the family. Before they could get away, though, a claw spider was dropped onto their boat. It destroyed them all. "Nice one, Deidara!" Hidan yelled, jumping up into the air onto the clay bird. "Art is a bang, hmm." Deidara said with a smirk. The duo left the blazing town laughing. "What do you want to do next?" Hidan laughed. "We should train now, hmm." Deidara said, taking them to a secluded clearing. "I'm going to practice my taijutsu, hmm. You should practice your nin- and bukijutsu, hmm." "Right. Good idea, Deidara." Hidan said, and began doing push-ups. "We should build our stamina and chakura reserves as well." he explained. Deidara nodded and started doing pull-ups on a tree branch. "We've got three years devoted to training and bullshitting around. Let's spend it well." Hidan said. Deidara smirked, and the duo kept training for weeks on end, only stopping to raid towns for food and money, and jutsu.

Hidan learned Chi Bunshin no Jutsu and Katon: Hosenka no Jutsu from some scrolls they gathered over time. Deidara increased his reserves and learned to carry clay in bigger batches and started trying to use Jinton (Swift Release) jutsu. The duo kept getting stronger and stronger, not stopping their routine. If they could get this much done in just 2 weeks... three years would make them unstoppable.

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><p><strong>As you can see, Hidan and Deidara will have a close relationship. It's NOT YAOI, by the way. I'm putting that in the desc. I'll make you guys a promise- I'll upload as often as I can. One thing you will probably all ask is this- pairings. There might not be parings, but if there are, it's strictly DeixKonan and HixOC, Shankfang. You'll learn more about her in this fic, but she'll probably appear in Highschool Life and Naruto of the Seventh Path.<strong>

**Aurora, out!**


	2. Nose to the Grindstone

**Here we are with chapter 2! I started typing this about six hours after chapter 1. So, ideas are still fresh in my mind! Oh, and six hours in enough time for you people to drop a review! You lazy bums! In this chapter, I will reveal what Naruto learned concerning the Rasengan, and give Hidan and Deidara-kun summoning contracts! Oh, the possibilities... Currently, the odds are against Naruto-kun, as Hidan and Deidara are already S-Ranked criminals. Naruto was a B-Ranked threat before he went on the training trip, so I need to beef him up a lot. It may not be very realistic, but I can't have Naruto-kun falling behind! **

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><p>CHAPTER 2<p>

3 MONTHS LATER

Deidara and Hidan had gotten far stronger. So far, they'd both decimated a large ammount of smaller villages and attacked Ame for the Nanabi. They successfully captured Fuu, the Jinchurikki of the Nanabi, and sealed her tailed beast. They were the first to get their job done. Afterwards, the duo decided to check up on the Kyuubi Jinchurikki. He was learning how add all of the elements into a Rasengan, which he called Elemental Sealing Rasengan. It supposedly made an enemy unable to use any elemental jutsu. That meant if Hidan and Deidara fought him, it wouldn't affect them. They had wanted to drop in and test him, but they decided it was too early. They would've captured him, but Jiraiya was right there with him at all times.

A few weeks later, the duo could be found raiding a town. "HAHAHAHA! Run you heathens! Jashin-sama will have your blo-!" **"SHIINA RASENGAN!" **"GAAAH!" Hidan was hit in the back by an impure spiraling sphere. It was white in color. Hidan was sent flying into a nearby building, and Deidara threw multiple clay spiders at Naruto. He jumped high in the air to dodge, and went flying right towards Deidara. "Take this! **Oodama Rasengan!" **Deidar jumped off of his bird and yelled "Katsu!" The bird exploded, sending Naruto hurdling towards the ground. Hidan ran at Naruto with his scythe and swung it at his head. **"Shinra Tensei!" **Naruto yelled, sending Hidan crashing through a building again. "Oi, Hidan! Get your ass up, hmm!" Deidara shouted throwing more clay spiders at Naruto. Hidan growled and yelled **"Fuuton: Daitoppa!" **a large array of wind launched itself at Naruto, who yelled **"Shinra Tensei!" **the attack launched itself at Hidan, who countered with Katon: Hosenka no Jutsu. Deidara created another clay bird and hopped on its back. "Hidan, this kid is strong, hmm. Be careful." Hidan nodded and created 2 chi bunshins. They both ran at Naruto while he threw his scythe at a curve at Naruto. It sliced his right smirked and pulled it back. He drew a circumscribed triangle and licked the blood off of the scythe. Then he stabbed himself in the leg, knocking Naruto over. The bunshin began to ruthlessly stomp Naruto's downed form, causing him to bruise. When Naruto was about to pass out, some called out **"Rasenrengan!" **A double rasengan hit one of the clones point-blank, and the other was kicked in the face at the same time. 3 more chi bunshin attacked Naruto, who used the Shinra Tensei.

Jiraiya of the Densetsu no Sannin, and Namikaze Naruto, Jounin of Konohagakure no Sato, stood back to back, ready to take down the Akatsuki duo. Deidara growled and Hidan smirked. Dealing with the Rinnegan was enough trouble, but having to fight a Sannin at the same time was overkill. They might have both been SS+ ranked, but Jiraiya was at least Quad S+. He was enough to take down Konan in her prime. Deidara started throwing clay like crazy, and Hidan was releasing slices of Wind with his scythe. Both of the Sages charged up Rasengans, and jumped toward their targets. Jiraiya jumped at Deidara, and Naruto at Hidan. **"Doton: Earth Dome!" **Deidara yelled. a massive sphere of Earth surrounded him, while he came up with an idea.

Hidan shot wind slices at Naruto, but Naruto dodged them and descended upon Hidan. **"Kurai Rasengan!"** Naruto yelled, slamming a black spiraling sphere into Hidan's chest. Hidan coughed up blood and for the third time flew into a building. Deidara opened his Earth Dome and shot several C4 spiders at Jiraiya. He then got on another bird, flew over to Hidan, grabbed him, and left. Hidan was unconcious and Deidara had bruises all over his face. _How does one kid have that much chakra? _Deidara wondered. The Rasengan didn't look like much, but Deidara could sense the compression of chakra within it. That took a lot of chakra on it's own. But he launched so many variations of it at the both of them, it must have taken at least Kage level chakra to do that.

Deidara flew the both of them to a hotel and checked in. Hidan had woken up, but was still a bit out of it. "Oi, Hidan, the Uzumaki brat is pretty strong, hmm. We should train more before we fight him." Hidan nodded and slumped on one of the beds in the room, clearly tired. "We'll talk more about it in the morning..." He said, falling to sleep. Deidara sighed and went to sleep on the other bed, thinking, _Akatsuki is fucked..._

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><p><strong><em>BOOOM! 2 CHAPTERS WITHIN THE SAME DAY! What are the odds? anyway, these chapters will be pretty short, but I'll keep updating as fast as I can!<em>**


	3. The Payback

_**Back with a new chapter. I want to try and upload a chap. Every day since I'm making them REALLY small. On average about 1,000 words each time. Sadly, I messed up the update schedule as I was working on a Minecraft fic. So, Naruto-kun wasn't as weak as we thought he was, eh? Hidan and Deidara-kun better step up their training! But with Hidan out of **_**_commission, how will Deidara defend the duo if they are attacked again?_**

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><p>CHAPTER 3<p>

Hidan coughed another clot of blood, while Deidara held out a bucket. Hidan had a hot towel over his head, and was shirtless. "i-I think I'm going to die..." Hidan said in between gags. Deidara was not a medic-nin, but he did know the **Mystical Healing Palm Technique**, and was spamming it on Hidan. He was low on chakra and panting as well. "Don't give up, not after I spent all this chakra on you hmm." Deidara said with a smirk. Hidan luaghed, but quickly scrunched his face up in pain. "Don't make me laugh, it fucking hurts..." Hidan said.

Deidara looked out the window and narrowed his eyes as he saw rippled purple eyes staring at him. "Hidan, they found us hmm. We gotta move." Deidra said, helping Hidan up. They gathered their stuff and climbed up onto the roof. Deidara discreetly made a clay bird and placed Hidan on it. Then, he made another one and flew towards Iwa. He instructed the other bird to fly away once the duo was chasing him. "Hidan, meet me in Taki in 4 days, hmm. If I'm not there, assume I'm dead and contact Sencho." Hidan nodded and coughed up another slew of blood. Deidara went full speed towards Iwa, intent on bringing the Tsuchikage in to help him defeat Naruto.

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><p>8 HOURS LATER<p>

"Oi, gramps!" Deidara said as he barged into an important meeting with the Earth Daimyo. "You! Boy, you've got a lot of nerve showing up here after what you've done-" "Shove it gramps, I brung you a Namikaze. Be thankful, hmmm..." Deidara said. Right after he said that, Naruto came charging through the door with an **Elemental Rasengan**. Deidra jumped into the air (Out of the roof in case you didn't get that) and summoned 60 small C-2 spiders. "Look out below, hmm!" he yelled, making Oonoki fly into the air. "**Fuuton: Asshuku kuuki no Nami! (Wind Release: Compressed Air Waves)**" A large cannon of wind shot towards Deidara, who created a Tsuchi Bunshin and threw himself out of the way. "**Douton: Ji Dokutsu Supaiku! (Earth Release: Earth Caving Spikes)**" Spikes jutted out of the earth and attempted to impale Naruto and Jiraiya, who both skillfully dodged them. Now it was Jiraiya's turn. "**Katon: Shi Insutantokiru!(Fire Release: Dead Center Instant Kill)**" Sword-shaped fire balls launched at Deidara Who couldn't dodge them in time. He stuck out his fist and yelled, "**Earthshaker Impact!**" His fist connected with the flames, sending them back at Jiraiya. Jiraiya widened his eyes and jumped out of the way, but the flames caught onto his cloak. He quickly put them out. "My turn 'ttebayo. **Fuuton: Juuha Reppu Shou! (Wind Release: Beast Wave Gale Palm)**" Deidara couldn't dodge and was hit head on by the jutsu, causing him to fall out of the air.

Naruto jumped at him with a **Kurai Rasengan**, and he closed his eyes, thinking it was over. "**Fuuton:Sairento· u~indosuraisu! (Wind Release: Silent Wind Slice)**" Naruto's arm was ripped off, and his jutsu cancelled. He screamed in pain as he fell towards the earth. Standing in mid air- no, FLYING, was Hidan, his stomach wrapped up, and his scythe in his hand. Deidara looked closer and saw that he was using Fuuton chakra to float. But, there was something weird about the chakra- oh, he was using magic. That explained it.

Deidara hit the ground with a loud thud. He groaned in pain as Hidan fought Jiraiya. "YOU ALMOST FUCKING KILLED ME! I'LL SHOW YOU! I'LL FUCKING SHOW YOU! **Chi Bunshin no Jutsu! (Blood Clone Technique[1])**" 3 Hidans were now visible, all running towards the Toad Sage. The two on both of the real Hidan's sides were lashing out with silent wind slices, while the original was going through handsigns. "**Kaze to honō sutairu mikkusu: Shukkoku purokishī kyūryū! (Wind and Fire Style Mixes: Exodus Proxy Torrent[2])**" A tornado of fire and strong breeze of wind combined, making a large tsunami of fire, all flying towards Jiraiya at Hiraishin speeds. Jiraiya had no time to dodge, however, and caught ablaze. "Don't you _ever _underestimate ME!" Hidan yelled, with his blood clones next to him grinning triumphantly.

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><p><strong>1] My version of Blood Clones: They require more chakra than the Kage Bunshin AND a significant amount of blood to make them. Unless someone has Chiton (Will be explained later), they most likely will only be able to make around 5. They essentially do the same thing as the original. They can train, recreate chakra in their own systems, and bleed without being dispelled. Also, a fatal wound must be inflicted for them to dispel. The caster also cannot dispel them as they are not apart of their souls. <strong>

**2] The first of many combo jutsu that will appear throughout the story, and take down many major bosses.**

**I apologize for the late update...**


	4. Apologies

_**Hey, Aurora here. Just need to tell everyone that I can't update for a while because my keyboard broke. I'm using an on-screen keyboard to type this. When I figure out the problem, everything will be okay.**_

_**[\:Aurora the Kyuubi kid out:/]**_


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